December 5th, 2009
ZORDON, GUARDIAN OF THE ICICLES!
“Hullo I am ZORDON,” said Zordon guardian of the Icicles.
“Hullo Gordon,” said Snatter and Rose.
“No – ZORdon.”
“Oh beg pardon. I misheard.”
“No I get that all the time, they do sound the same. Hullo. I suppose you’re here for the Icicles of Power?”
“Yeah, the floating head of Richard Burton sent us here in search of them,” said Snatter. “We’ve heard of a great festive force that draws near to the North Pole, and he thinks we’d better prepare to defend ourselves!”
“Righto, no complaints from me,” said Zordon, “you can have them. Here’s the only thing though. The Icicles of Power are not an item you can just collect and take home. They are a power, a state of being, which resides in the hearts of each of the Christmas Ninjas!”
“What, even the White one?”
“Errmm. You’ll have to remind me. There’s that many of them now. Is he the one where the red one hadn’t been in it for ages and then he came back suddenly with amazing powers?”
“I dunno.”
“Oh, wait, is he the one where, he used to be a green one, but even though he seemed to be the best one at fighting, instead he always just got separated and lost his watch and the Putties would easily capture him, and then maybe towards the end he’d join in and then they’d win, but then he spent weeks and weeks losing his powers and eventually we refitted him with a new suit?”
“Dunno.”
“Wait, he’s not the one that’s really a little boy is he, and he uses his powers to look up girls skirts and it gets edited out in America?”
“Shouldn’t think so.”
“Ok, well anyway, yeah, they’ve basically all got magic icicle powers in them. But those powers can only be unlocked by one who bears the symbol of the Galactic Christmas Force!”
“That sounds pretty good!”
“It is! Here you go, this is it.”
And into Snatter’s hands flew a golden coin with a wondrous motif emblazoned across its surface!”
Wow look, it’s like a christmas tree but it’s gone all curly-twirly. And also hey look it’s a sort of 20p type coin instead of a round coin. O I bet it’s a quid, they’re that shape now. Well, I suppose there’s no reason all mystic coins need to be round ones is there! nice one gordon, fight the cliché.
“Okay, now, I’ve got to warn you, the power of the Galactic Christmas Force is very strong and very valuable. The moment you step out of this fortress, the forces of evil will be after you, trying to claim it for their own!”
“What?!”
“I know. But keep a true heart and a something something, and you will prevail!”
“A what?”
“A SOMETHING SOMETHING.”
“Oh okay then,” said Snatter and Rose, and they set off! They’re on their way back home right now, so presumably they’ll be back here around tomorrowish some time. So there you goe,” Duddles conclude.
“That’s good then,” say Dooley. That’s basically that, so everyone dissipates off in different directions.