February 25th, 2010

“Arrr!” shout two ppl at once! (My money’s on the two Salteyes. let me check hang on. yep.)

“Arrr!” they go at once. “Pilky’s gone!”

Hairy piratey Salteye is in a panic! “Where’s me Pilky?? Me little Karley Pilkoid??”

But old shaved Sal Teye is doing a smiely. I think he remembers where Pilky is, because of course, he’s just the same hairy Salteye but from the future, so he will remember this happening when he was hairy!

and sure enough, their robot son Pilky – whose boiler has now been fixed by the helpful aquatic Snatterstar maintainence crew who live in the pipes – isn’t there any more! Old Snatter perks up.

“Teye,” he go, “Where is he? Do you… remember this? I’m afraid my mind is a blank… none of this is familiar to me. Are we to die here or not?”

“Oi think not, Snattar,” go him with a grin.

Suddenly! The lights goe on! The screen goe on! And there’s Pilky, standing in the room where Duddles and his dead supercomputer Patch are. It looks like he’s cradling something in his hands but I can’t see what.

“All right? I been thinking…” go Pilky. “About like, the human body. It’s amazin’ innit, the human body? The way you can just sort of, you know, “I wanna pick that up,” and you do. An’ the way your ‘ands work. Right, you’ve got five little digits, but it’s, it’s just the right amount. To do what you’ve gotta do, right?”

“Right,” go hairy Salteye puzzledly.

“Buddit is! One, one extra would get in the way – and, one less would, just, make it that little bit more tricky when pickin’ up a, a bit of a, slippery dish.

“But I was thinkin’ like, sometimes I’m going, “I could do with another bit.” Right? Just, it’d be good, if I had a bit of a pipe comin’ out.”

“Sorry Pilky,” say Salteye, taking his pipe out of his mouth and looking at it with a sort of i’ve-failed-me-son face on, “but you can’t inherit a pipe!”

“No,” Pilky goe, “I mean, a pipe, for like, things to go down.”

Salteye look confused so Duddles help. “You know, pipes? Cylinder thingies?”

“Yeah,” go Pilky. “Pipes. Duddles here says he’s come up with a way to power this whole ship using pipes. And I’ve realised recently that, that’s what I’ve been thinkin’ about, you know, while I’ve been doin’ the washing up an’ that. I had this sense like… I could have pipes. And look, I found one.”

Pilky lift up with one hand a loop of sort of twinkling power lead that him also’s holding the end of in he other hand. What he want to do with that?

“So, because you know how, how we just found out I’m a robot?” he doesn’t seem very moved by this new revelation about himself, but he doesn’t have a very exaggerated face anyway. “Well. Bit weird, innit? What do you reckon to that?”

and before anyone can tell what he meant…

oe what! Yuck I don’t like that! it’s plugged into him arm! I suppose that’s all right if he’s a robot. And he give it a shove and a click, and it plug in more! More lights come on!

“Arr!” exclaim hairy Salteye in alarm! “You’d better not be doin’ something stupid, else I shall stop this space ship right here! I’ll put you in a wheely-bin, collect you on the way back!” I think he means it!

But Pilky is plugged into the system now! Him eyes go all blinky and with numbers going on them… and then he flop over, like he’s dead!

But he’s isn’t! Look!

The screen on Patch the supercomputer flicker on… lights come on all around, and…


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