December 16th, 2011
Anyway! Ever since the little tiff with the head north pole elf Burgess Meredith (from off Batman), Snatter has been flying around the planet we’re currently orbiting, delivering presents. We meanwhile have been rolling around here, trying to get over the abject terror of seeing the horrible creature that is marching about and hurting ppl all over space.
“Him called the ANTISNATER, I’d reckonise him anywhere! He’s changed again, he’s always a bit different, but last time I saw him he had a crooked bone beak like that and ribs and a flappy cape. He’s the Antisnatter! It’s just that he’s somehow taken on a form that’s made of like rock and stuff! It’s like a cross between Antisnatter and his horrible snappy friend that he’s got!”
oe! you are very useful in fact nobbly, you knoe a lot about xmas. It’s very handy for the spirit of xmas to have such a knowlidgible friend.
yeah! anyway! So here’s Captain M8s, and he was saying just now, that because of all our harrowing discoveries (but I think it’s because he just had a little bust-up with Snatter yesterday), they’re not going to land on planet, they’re just going to SCAN planet today, for monster activity.
ok yeah. So that’s why, as you can see on that screne, we have a little probe thing that’s flying through the rocky valleys and exploring the planet, and we can see what it sees on the screen.
OE gosh blimey, a creature!
An mysterious ALIEN creature appeared on the screen! Brilliant, let’s try to communicate. HELLOE ALIEN! Hm, it didn’t really understand that, and went “terribly sorry old chap, I simply CAN’T understand a WORD you’re saying.”
And m8s go “DAMN, it doesn’t speak any language I’m familiar with!” er yes it is, it was all OE MY OLD CHAP etc. “It’s just whistling a forlorn tune! Well, then it’s a good job I had the small creatures who live in the pipes and keep the ship running (they are called The Snorks) fix my alien language translation device then!”
He’s set up his device, and now he can talk to the mysterious alien creature. (Dunno why he doesn’t just talk to it, it was talking perfectly clearly, I thought.)
M8s’ translation machine uses the Universal Language invented by inspector rebus of the one-tongue institute. They’re called that because they wanted to make up a pictoral language everyone could understand, not because they have only one tongue. Although most of them do only have one tongue.
That big symbol, the one that’s appeared above the machine and looks like a sunrise over water or something, that’s what the machine sends automatickly when you turn it on, because it is how all communications start when you’re using this machine, and it means “Howdy!”
ok, alien replies back, and the translator is turning his whistles into symbols M8s can understand. Don’t know why he doesn’t just listen to the whistles, but anyway.
“Me Mysterious Alien Creature. Me see creature. Bad creature. Bad creature flee.”
It’s not a very good translater, actually he said “Hello there old bean, I’m a mysterious alien creature don’t you know! Speaking of creatures, ooh I saw a terrible one just a little while ago, awful thing it was, terrible creature, luckily I saw it leaving the planet, so with any luck we won’t be troubled by it again!”
“Yes! This being has seen the Antisnatter!” go M8s in excitement! “Perhaps it knows which way he went, so we can get a lead on tracking him further. Let me see, I’m not very good at reading this language I’ll admit, which symbols do I need…. This one.”
o noe seriously.
“Oe am I actually seeing this?” go nobbly.