December 22nd, 2009

it’s s-s-snatter claus!!! not young snatter, but proper, grownup, old snatter, with his correct fatness powers already activated! fatter snatter!! 

Him smile like kindliest person ever and invite me in! Him beard is twinkly and cuddle!

oe snatter! i thought you might be able to help me and my m8s!

Snatter say he will do what he can and ask what we want for xmas!

I think we want to know what’s happening, Snatter… it’s been confusing, what with being stuck in the torcher tower and the white ninjer boinging up and down on the end of a tube and the little snappy person! What’s happening Snatter!?

“Well, there’s been a bit of a kerfuffle at the North Pole, you see. A very bad person called Peter –“

The Antisnatter?? 😮

“The very same, how clever you are already, and still so young!”

“Well, he is very naughty as you know, and so for Christmas last year he got a lump of coal!”

Yes I remember! That’s what naughty ppl get from your magic presents bag.

“That’s right! What a clever little boy!”

“Now, my elves and I thought that getting a lump of coal for Christmas had been enough to make naughty Peter go away and promise not to be bad again! But Duddles the elf found that actually he had escaped, and was hiding somewhere, hurt and very probably angry!”

o noe!

“I’m afraid so, and this time he isn’t alone. The little snapping man is the spirit of Antichristmas, a very naughty little imp who can cause no end of trouble just by himself!”

horrid little snappy! where has he gone now?

“To his master. To Peter. We are tracking them as we speak.”

are we going to bume them?

“To what?” snatter look concerned.

bume! you noe, like, wheeeeeee – BUME. like how Antisnatter went buuume last year when you gave him coal, because and he was in a rume that couldn’t have anything flammable in, and so instead of using his terrible inventions to shoot the christmas star and kill it, instead he just went *bume*.

“Oh! Oh, I see. No, no, we don’t do anything like that here. We prefer to talk, to our critics, find out what they want.”

…i think they want to be horrid, snatter.

“Well, then, they’ll just keep getting coal in their stocking, won’t they?” Snatter smiley and wink. hehe. yeh they will.

but snatter not smile any more.

“This is the hard part, for me,” he say, “because you see, Santa Claus never lies. And my wife always says that a concealed truth, if it’s important, is as good as a lie. I don’t want you to be upset, but… I need to show you what’s happening outside. Christmas isn’t going very well this year, I’m afraid.”

and he show me on his big telly what is outside… let’s have a look then m80s

oe gosh


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