December 15th, 2011

But an moon, remember. We had a harrowing discovery there.

That’s why after yesterday’s harrowing discovery, we brought the remains of Mr Spoon back to the ship, to arrange a proper sendoff. The spoon is still fine if we put it through the dishwasher a few times, but the broken glass is going to have to go in the recycling.

“Incredible,” say spottyman. “A life form entirely constructed out of household items!”

Buxton is also impressed by this. “THEY ARE DE ONLY PPL ON PLANET MADE FROM… SUTIN.” he seemed to lose his train of thought a bit at the end there.

I left a sweet little Christmas Tree on the site of the attack, as a memorial to Mr Spoon. I hoep it will serve as a beacon of festiveness in the darkest times to come 

M8s and Snatter are talking about it now listen.

“What we’re facing here is clearly a dangerous and ruthless enemy. I suggest we call a halt to all these surface visits until either we catch up with the creature, or you gain your audience with the Grand Father.”

“No!” go Snatter! “I swore to deliver presents on Christmas Eve, and that is what I must do! Every world passed over represents billions of sleeping children, each of them deserving of Christmas presents! (Except the naughty ones, forget about them.) NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND!! (apart from naughty ones)”

“I can’t risk the safety of my crew!”

“Then don’t send your crew! I don’t need them!”

And Snatter about to storm off, when suddenly everyone falls silent. An omnominous figure is standing in the doorway!! Who is this old man?? He seems to be an elf of such stature and rank that judging by ppl’s faces, some had actually thought him dead, and those who didn’t knew he would never emerge from his grotto in their lifetime!!

I dunno, just a guess. Do you knoe him, Nobbly?

“I DO!” go nobbly, his eyes wide! “It is the oldest and wisest of all the elves, it is the prophecy-seer, it is… Burgess Meredith!!”

what the bloke from batman

“What? No. The bloke from THE NORTH POLE”

“Santa Claus, listen to reason!” he go! “With every planet you deliver to, we fall behind in tracking the monster! We’ve found four corpses already! How much more blood must we wade through until you face the force responsible for all this!”

Santa round on Burgess! “I have a job to do. Every child must get their presents on Christmas Day.”

“And when will that be?” They’re having a proper argument here, whoa! “Don’t you see that unless we can fix the wider problem, or at least establish that it’s possible, there might not be any point in delivering any presents! Until this is fixed, there will be no Christmas Day!”

But Santa im not convinced (althoe he looks a bit more snatterey now, instead of the way he looked for the last few days, like one of those ancient engravings they had in the world of long ago called Animes. Jolly good, maybe that was just an side-effect of being brought back from Yulices.) “But what if we do fix the problem? What if Christmas comes, and my rounds aren’t complete? Which child misses out? Which thousand children, which trillion? I’m not willing to choose. Every child must get their presents.”

“You’re a fool, Santa Claus!” shout Burgess as Santa tromp away to the slé. “You have to face the force responsible!”

but he gone.

“Don’t worry, Burgess Meredith,” say Captain M8s solemnly, “We’ll hunt this creature down. Let Santa do his job, me and my team are here to do the dangerous stuff.”

Burgess does not seem to be especially impressed by this. He goe too.

Looks like the calender dore is opening again. I’ve decided not to keep forcing these dores open if I can help it, I don’t want to break it or anything. Here we go everybody, Chockoe 15 is of… AUGH

Aaaughh what a horrible cockoe!! What a horrible chockoe that im!!! It’s so horrible I’ve never imagined anything so horrid!! Aaaauughh!

still tho choc’s a choc isn’t it. om nom nom nom

whoa my… head… it’s so sparkly… “gniebelgnisehtfostnemeletneutitsnocynamehteraew”

ooh, did I say that one out loud? That was a weird one. I think… they’re getting louder. Er, sparklier I should say.


what, what’s up nobbly???

“Oh sorry, it’s just HER.”

who? WAGH!! Oh blimey, don’t sneak up on ppl like that Sharon, it’s weird. What’s that Sharon? You’ve communed with the corpse of Mr Spoon? (She’s woogling thoughts into our heads telephathically.) And you saw the image from his eyes of the creature that attacked him?? O jolly good!! That’s very useful! Maybe you can beem the picture into our heads so that we can knoe what we’re up agaAAAAUUGH


(made for a tasty choco tho)


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