December 1st, 2007
O! Hello, o.
It’s the 1st of decembre again everyone! nearly xmas which is very exciitng, because then you can do things like these:
* Have a tree in the house (what, a tree in the house, taht is not nature)
* Have lots of lights, which Mum says have really big footprints, but they do not have feet!
* Have PRESENTS, delivered from SNATA CLAUSE!
I love snata. Do you remember last year we didn’t have a calendar loads of us, so I went over to the shop and got us one?
Remember, and we thought it might have chocolates in, and instead it had multidimensional hyperdisaster inside, and hehe, remember, the very heavens were rent asunder, and from the depths of infraspace there poured forth those most foul apparitions of the nightly ether, clashing time with space and space with time, and rending the very firmament of the Universe?
hehe, also you ate some poo you filth.
Well, this time i’ve bought a proper advent calendar, it’s not a stupid weird one like that this time, it’s a proper one. I bet loads of ppl here didn’t remember to get an advent calender, so let’s try and do it properly this year, and every day we can open another door on this lovely: Advent Calendar.
Okay so, let’s have a look at it.
Well, the picture on it is like a big castle, and you can see into the rooms and that’s where the doors are this time.
O! Wait, I knoe what this is actually! remember last year mum said I was being a bit naughty, so she made me read a book about Snata’s birth in the stable (which is called The Snatavity)? Well, the book was not only about Santer’s birth but all of him.
And it said, a few years later Snater goes to Elf School in a big castle like this.
The school is called: Elf School.
Yes look, here, it says in the book.
SO when Snata was born, he was visited by some people, and the last of these was the wise old Burgess Meredith, the most in-charge elf in the whole pole; the Whole north Pole.
And he gave Snatter the power of Having A Beard. Because of all this faffing about (this isn’t exactly what the book sae, the book is boring so I’m making it better), Snata was now a young boy, but with a great big beard.
Remember this? Burgess came down from a star on some butterfly’s, and he said nice things to BAby Snatter
and then snatter got BEARD
We saw that last year.
But there is more to the story that the previous advent calender did not cover. My big Snatter book here that Mum got me goes on to sae:
Snater’s dad was already quite embarrassed about the whole thing but that just took the biscuit, and so he left the slé where snater was born, and went round the front of the stable, and went into the hotel whose stable it was to talk to the bloke there. And the bloke went “No room, I told you, there’s just too many immigrants”, and Daddy Snatter went “Do you need a stable boy? My son is a nice baby, even though he seems to have powers of laser beams and eyes that make reindeer hairier and flying, and he definitely has some sort of Christmas powerz after a christmas spider bit him, but also he has a big beard and that’s a bit odd so really he’s going to need a job where he can not be seen by any humans.“
Bloke at the hotel said “ye”, and so that was Snater’s job from then on.
What a boring snatter book.
So, years and years later, the hotel stood quietly on a hill in the North Pole.
ppl who want to stay at a hotel did that. they did it at the hotel. but they never knew that round the back (of it) was a reindeer stable, and in the middle (of it) there still was the slé in which the baby Snata slept. (of it.)
Snatter got a bit older, and by that time everyone had forgotten about all that weird quantum Christmas stuff that happened, and Snata is just a boy (with a beard), called Christopher Nicholas Kringle, which is a lot of names because his mum and dad couldn’t decide whether he should be called Chris or Claus (they had a lightsaber fight over it tho which we saw last year if you remember, and Mummy Snater won so she got to call him Chris, but she let his middle name be Claus).
His job is doing barn things, like raking hey.
HEE HEE THERE IS REINDEER EVIDENCE IN THE HEY
Well. The people at the hotel aren’t very nice to snater, and doesn’t always let him read his post.
But one day loads of post started coming in for snater, little letters that come flying through the sky and go down the hotel’s chimney, and the hotel feller goe “I’m cross! I’m not letting Snater have his letters if he’s getting them through the CHIMNEY.”
But then… one dae… a mysterious figure arrives at the stable. There is a sort of special Christmas Gloe about him and he has a nice jumper on, and him beard is soft and his hair is interesting and generous, and he is a friendly man who lets loads of people comes to his house party and then he abuses them
He say he is called the “First Noël,” not his name but his job, it is a sort of man who goes round finding people who should go to Elf School. His name is Pear.
“Your an ELF, Chris,” he say.
Snatter goes “What do you mean I’m an elf?”
And Pear-Noël says:
“Well, look at your beard. And yu’re really small. You must be an elf. You get to go to an elf school, which is called: Elf School.”
Snatter goes with him straight away because he doesn’t like spading up evidence all the time. And they go to the train station and get on the Christmas Tree Train, and they go all the way to Lapland.
And that is Story Of Snatter Getting To Elf School. So now we noe why there’s a big castle on the calender, that’s the school! It looks like each day we’ll get to see some lessons that they have, because the doors all over it (the calendar dors not the school dors) are all over the wall, so we might be able to see into the classrooms! OH GOOD!
So! Time to open the first door! (the calendar door not the school door.) The first door is the big drawbridge to let you into the castle. (o so it is sort of the school dor, oops.)
One of you can open it. If anyone wants to open it, say, and I’ll choose one of you later today and you can open it, and we’ll see what sort of chocolate and pictures is hiding behind the door!!
Who wants chocolates??
OE THIS IS EXCITING AGAIN MATES.