December 6th, 2009

Snatter still isn’t back home! He must have been detained by the forces of evil! or something, how exciting! Let’s crack open the old log book and see if he’s been saying anything about it.

Hmm, no, nothing, but – oh hello! What’s this? What on earth are you doing coming towards me? Oh I see! Ha ha ha!

Ok it looks like Snatter HAS written in his log book! Ah! Seems he has met someone else on his travels – nothing evil though, just a person. According to this, he – – oh!


M8s! It’s my old friend, M8s! I haven’t seen you in a very long time, M8s! I thought I wouldn’t see you this year! What brings you here?

Oh I see!

He say he’s been worried about us because of the elfs being worried about Christmas is Coming. That’s very nice of you m8s, but we’re fine! Everything’s pretty relaxed around here!

You look hungry, m8s. I know. You can have all of today’s chocolate, we haven’t had it yet! Come on follow me!

(watch this m80s, hee)

There look. Follow that trail on the ground, you will come to the chocolate.

No, go on, it’s fine, we won’t have chocolate today it’s all for you!

Yeah, follow the trail there… yeah… yeah look there’s the chocolate look! That big heap on the ground, near the way into that big british castle. Whoever was on their way in there obviously dropped a lot of chocolate just before they got to the door. And look, little paw prints of chocolate leading inside. Hehe, someone’s got to clean up some expensive chocolatey carpets!

What? Of course you should eat it! It’s your special chocolate! Go on, just scoop it up and munch it down, yeah. Yeah.

mohhhh omlo well done M8s. You’re a star.

Haha he’s brilliant isn’t he. Well m80s, let’s have a look in this log book then, because today Snatter and Rose have met a lady.

Snatter says they met her on the way across the frozen wastes today, she was operating some gadgetry, and the funny thing was she was called Rose as well!

“Are you called Rose Suchak?” ask our Rose, who is definitely called Rose Suchak and that’s a very funny question for her to ask.

“No,” say the new Rose. “I’m called Billy Piper really.”

That confuse everyone.

“Oh, sorry,” say our Rose, “I only asked because it turns out there is another Rose Suchak out there somewhere.”

“How do you know?” ask Snatter.

“Well you know those little birds that fly back and forth between our books?”

Yes! I know those! That’s what happened just before M8s turned up. A little robin came along (yeah they’re xmas birds, can’t believe rockin robin isn’t a christmas song where they made it up), and it landed on the Log Book and tweeted at it, and the tweets turned into words in the book! GOSH Duddles is a clever little elf isn’t he, better keep an eye on him in case he invents more things! Little birds must read what snatter writes, and then tweet it into the other book!

I didn’t noe tweeting could be used for talking to Snatter & Rose!

Anyway, Rose continue, “Well, you know how when you first start using the Log Book the little birds ask you your name? Well I said “Rose Suchak” and the birds said someone was already called that! That’s why I went with my middle name instead and now my name in it is anyasuchak.”

“I did wonder why you did that,” say Snatter.

“Well that’s not me,” say Billie. “I can’t use my equipment for that sort of thing.”

“What is that equipment anyway?” Snatter ask.

“Ssh, it’s a secret! I’m working with a SECRET AGENT!”

“A secret agent? WAIT A MO. Not one that’s working for the Antisnatter?”

“Oh no, nothing evil. He works for Her Maj’s Tea Service. But he’s up against some bad enemy people, so my job is basically just to check he’s still alive, using my machine!”

“What does it do?”

“Well, not very much,” say Billy. “All I do really is sit here in this very well hidden spot where the bad enemies don’t know where I am, and I check the agent’s alive using this. It’s just a question of pressing a button really, then wait for the light to flash on, which means he’s pressed the button as well and is therefore still alive, and then that’s the work done for another hour or whatever. One day if I don’t get the little blip back saying he’s alive a couple of times in a row, I’ll know he isn’t, and I’ll tell our boss and they’ll be all . He’s the one doing the actual secret things and sneaking about, I just sit and do that!”

“Oh how boring!” say Rose.

“Yep!” say Rose, and our pair set off, harrowed by this experience.

mohh, what’s he, he did it again, just plopped that bit in at the end of a sentence, I wasn’t expecting it again. What’s he on about, harrowed? Billy seemed all right didn’t she, what’s so harrowing about that? Maybe Snatter just doesn’t like the idea of people being out in the snow on their own at Christmas, being all lonely. That’s just like him to think that sort of thing isn’t it.

I wonder who the secret agent is tho!! Hey, maybe – – whisperwhisper, maybe it’s m8s! he was an agent wasn’t he, he worked with agent beazie and scruge!



he say noe.

but then that’s what he would sae.

And the Log Book’s got a number 6 on now so I’ll open it again and find… Chocolate is a – wahey! It’s an actual box of Cadbury’s Roses, what with all the Roses in today’s story! Yum yum I’ll be having some of that thank-you-very-much-for-feeding-Julian!

Who wants what? I’ll have the little bournville! (they don’t do that any more because they’re thickies but this one has got one because it is christmas magicle.)


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