December 25th, 2007


There you are!

It’s excellent to have you back. You seemed to ping off for a while there and I was worried. I thought you’d been smashed up to pieces&bits by the snowman’s weird quantum fiddling or something!

Look, I saved you the chocolates from the last couple of dores when I’ve not seen you around! One is of Snowman, one is of Dooper! EAT UP!!

I must sae I didn’t really understand what happened. Here’s what it looked like from my point of view.

All month I’ve been finding clues about Dooper being dead. But he isn’t dead! And then when Snatter was about to wrap up the big present in the sky, the Antisnatter’s present, it was sort of like… because Dooper was dead, he got it right! You knoe? That was what everyone else seemed to feel like as well, they were all crying and going “FOR DOOPER”, but he was there too going “YOU CAN DO IT CLAUS,” and snatter just sort of managed!

it was really dramatic but i doent noe why because dooper is alive!!

It was so weird!

So i suppoes I’ll just have to accept that the WORLD is really WEIRD for no REASON, and dooper was sort of dead and alive at the same time? Never mind anyway, eh? The good guys won! It’s quite good that there’s now a big nicely wrapped present hanging in the sky over the north pole, you know, to tell everyone that this is where xmas presnets are made, and everything’s just really cool here, everyone’s all happy!

A few things that are still a bit sort of unresolved:

1) First lee, The Antisnatter. He just sort of… gone. He was being wiggled, and then he gone. And Beazie gone too.

2) Wise Old Elf Burgess, Richard Burton Head, Dooper and Snowman talking to each other. They say strange thinge’s that I overhear.

“Of course,” saye Snowman. “Time moves with him.”

“Wat?” saye Head.

“We have yet to finde the Snatter,” saye Snowman, “and sadly the Antisnatter was so far up on the roof, none of us got to see who him was. But, he already have the Snatter powers, because the Antisnatter has to have Snatter powers or he’s just someone mean who doesn’t like Snatter. That’s not Antisnatter, Antisnatter has to have Snatter powers, that’s the whole point. And that mean, he has the power of “Time Moves With Him” that let him do all Snattering in one night.”

“Yeh so?” say Head

“Well, changes in quantum reality don’t affect him. He is King of Time Lines. He didn’t get his mind changed of what happened in the original timeline, so he remembers everything, all of that fiddling and changing along the way.”

“You what tho m8?” say Head.

“Oe nuthing,” say Snoweman. Then they all part except Snowmann and Burgess.

3) Very serious and a bit scary discussion Snowman and Burgess then have. Went like this, if I remember:

<Burgess> What is troubling you, friend?

<Snowman> I had to do something today that I wish I hadn’t done.

<Burgess> I see. Would like to talk about it? Or is it the kind of story best left untold?

<Snowman> Untold. Especially since it never happened anyway. I had to go back in time and stop it from happening.

<Burgess> Ah. I think I know what you’re about to say. If it would make you more comfortable, please feel free not to say it, but I must ask: how did you stop it from happening?

<Snowman> I had to go back in time and confront myself. With… fire.

<Burgess> Yes. Of course. As the prophecies all agreed. The Snowman’s curse.

<Snowman> No…!

<Burgess> You melted yourself in the past. You know very well what that means. The curse which all Snowmankind has dreaded begins on this day. Your deed was impossible, paradoxical, but it has to play out somehow in the linear universe. So, the paradox is resolved in the usual way. What many would call a “curse”, but we in the know would call a “cosmic solution.”

<Snowman> But how is a man punished who kills himself in the past? What fate does the universe have for him?

<Burgess> That the death be repeated… for all time. This is your Original Sin. From this day on, a Snowman’s life will be be sustained only for as long as the sun stays hidden. When the grey sky lifts and the warmth returns, the Snowman will melt away to nothing.

<Snowman> But… but we will live only days!

<Burgess> No – you will live a normal life span. But that span will be spread out across hundreds and hundreds of years. The Universe must correct itself, and the terrible fate that was forseen for Snowmen fits as a solution. This has to be the trigger event.

<Snowman> But you say we will die the first time the sun’s heat hits us… yet we will live for hundreds of years? More paradoxes?

<Burgess> The prophecy speaks of young children raising your forms from the snow. The lingering essence of your lives will guide their hands as they build Snowmen from now until eternity. Into those new bodies you will awaken.

<Snowmen> They will think we are… magical.

<Burgess> They will. And you will do what you choose to with that. But it will be nothing but the Universe’s defense against its own corruption. A stitch in time, to prevent further tearing.

They silent for long time.

<Snowman> Maybe I’ll bring them here. Maybe I’ll show them a shred of the wonder this Christmas land holds.

<Burgess> Who?

<Snowman> The children.





  • Olivia says:

    The most Christmassy story in any of our lives, and my favorite Adventure Calendar of the decade. Year two has the Harry Potter junk, time travel nonsense, tear-jerking Snowmen, Bowie, and it all wraps up in a fantastic kind-of-makes-a-bit-of-sense bow. This year’s story is closest to my heart of any Christmas tradition I have. Thank you, thank you, thank you for preserving it for us.

  • Mister Apple says:

    I realise I never left a comment, so here’s a comment:
    I like this a lot more than last year’s one, and I’m assuming they just get better from here on out.
    Merry belated Christmas, and Wiggle He!

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