December 8th, 2011
So! Hello Xmas Ninjers and well done for finally learning to talk properly! We can talk to each other now!
“Hello! Thank goodness, we thought we’d never get through to you!”
No! Well you should’ve tried talking normally instead of just blubublbubl. Where are you actually from anyway where they talk like that?
“We are from a conceptual space which can’t entirely be described. It’s simpler, we find, to refer to it as the nth dimension. We have taken a break from fighting the great Entropy War against the forces of Krool to join you here and tell you of our research into the phenomenon known as–“
Wait a minit, what war is that again?
“Oh, it’s, er, sort of difficult to explain.”
“Um… well, have you ever put your favourite comic down, only to find a few minutes later it’s not where you left it?”
er no, but – – oe, nobbly says ye.
“Or have you been ready to smeg the end of level bad guy on your games console when the system crashes and your high score goes down the toilet?”
ready to what? oe, nobbly says yes again.
“Well it’s happening all the time and not just by accident either. These bad vibes are caused by Krool, who is trying to slowly worm his way into the universe by taking away the fun! If you don’t have fun, then you don’t really feel like doing much, and then entropy sets in, and when entropy turns everything in the universe back into the energy it’s made from, Krool will take that energy and fill his face with it all!!!”
er, o ok, er, better stop him then.
“Yep,” go man ninjer. “But anyway, no, we came to tell you about our studies! You see, the basic states of our dimension and yours are so fundamentally different that it is not unreasonable when people from this world describe the movement of things from our world into this one in terms of concepts or ideas being made manifest.”
“What he means,” say lady ninjer, “is that things like feelings and memories can be made real, but they have to pass through different dimensions of reality in order to make the translation.”
“Yeah,” say man ninjer, “and ever since the discovery of these inner dimensions, our most devoted scientists have been dedicated to learning more about the relationship between these different states of being.”
“For generations,” go lady ninjer, “our most accomplished thinkers have been studying an artefact, precisely similar to your “twisty things”, which was discovered earlier today. We know quite a bit about it. It appears to be a translated artefact – that is, a thought made physical – in this case a conceptual record of part of a festive lifeform, the corporeal expression of a memory.”
“Theoretically, a person can be kept alive in our memories long after he has ceased to be,” go man Ninjer, “and this twisty artefact is one such memory.”
So… u mean if a christmassy person had died
“Not necessarily died, as such, but let’s say they would have to have been reduced to memory, by some means.”
so u mean if a christmassy person was just a memory now, then they would be inside things like these twisties?
Waaait… I NOE about this! Someone splitting their soul magickly into bits! ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS TWISTY THING I AM HOLDING RIGHT NOW IS… A HORCRUX???
Lady ninjer, “No! First off, only really horrible people can make those. To create a horcrux you have to commit a terrible murder, which would not be very Christmassy at all. Whereas, a person whose memory was fond enough that it would manifest in this festive form…”
“…like Snatter, would never murder someone.”
“Deliberately,” interject man ninjar
“And second off,” go lady, “a horcrux is a terrible thing infested with evil, but that item you’re holding is very clearly a lovely Christmassy artefact, which must therefore contain the memory of a Christmassy person! A horcrux is made of pure malice, and this is made of pure twinkly Christmas.
What you are holding is not a Horcrux… it is a Yulix!”
ooooh! So, if Snatter in these, what should we do to help him??
“I believe I can help with that,” go a voice from nearby. We all turn round and see